Something on
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Writing extracts by Rosa Barbour |
Something on
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Writing extracts by Rosa Barbour |
Richard visited me at my desk to annoy me. He said he had been thinking about it, and that probably the reason I had told Mikey I would kill myself if he didn’t spend the night with me is because I do things like spend too much time on the phone to Leanne at Scottish Gas. He said that, several times, he had heard me greeting Leanne as though she were a beloved-yet-distant relative, and that I had once tallied up nineteen minutes of call time with no practical outcome to show for it. I said that this was a gross exaggeration, and also a lie. Richard looked at me coolly.
‘We didn’t even need a renewal.' ‘It’s called being nice.’ ‘It’s not being nice. It’s being inassertive.’ ‘Yes, well. Assertive people are usually cunts.’ ‘Wrong. Wrong. You are wrong. Cathy, assertive people aren't necessarily the people who bring their daughters up telling them it's a good thing to be bossy and handing out the 'Girl Boss' T-Shirts. You have to get this shit out of your head. Yes, of course, those specific people are cunts. But assertive is a positive word. Assertive people know how not to drain their energy where it isn't necessary, and are therefore less likely to put themselves in self-destructive situations in their personal lives.’ He gave me a slow smile/blink combo, David Brent-style. I told him to fuck back off to his garden.
1 Comment
1. Jack
58. South Kensington born and bred, yet more of a charming egg than a bad'un. It's been seven hours and four hundred and thirty-six days since Jack's wife died, leaving him with three hyperactive children, a rambling hotel in Perthshire, and not a fucking clue what to do next. 2. Richard The canny Weegie called in to sort it all oot. He wants to create a 'kitchen garden,' but with a sniff problem like that under his belt, one is left wondering whether his horticultural interests stretch rather beyond a childhood love of 'The Secret Garden.' 3. Cathy Wide-eyed twenty six year old with un-put-finger-on-able sexual validation problem seeks summer job, digs and a Tinderless summer... Games... Begin... Let the... etc. |